My Favorite Things á la Mormons

Men in green aprons and white cotton sashes
Uncomfortable garmies that give me butt rashes
Boring sheet music that sure doesn’t swing
These are a few of my favorite things

Six foot tall moonmen who dress just like Quakers
Cureloms and cumoms and horses like tapirs
White baker’s hats and CTR rings
These are a few of my favorite things

Brown colored peepstones and lost golden plates
Urims and Thummins and dozens of mates
Reformed Egyptian with rites for dead kings
These are a few of my favorite things

When the phone rings
And the ward calls
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad